TWOGIRL - ANECDOTE

ROASTED GOOSE

One day a man said to the Hodja that he saw a man bringing a roasted goose.
"It doesn't interest me", said the Hodja.
"But it was going to your house", said the man.
"Then it doesn't interest you", replied the Hodja

A COMFORTABLE FLIGHT

     An airliner was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom,

      "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax and. . . OH MY GOODNESS!". . . .

     Silence followed. Then after a few seconds, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I frightened you earlier, but while I was talking to you, the flight-attendant brought me a cup of hot coffee and spilled it in my lap. He chuckled and said, "You should see the front of my pants!"

     A passenger in coach yelled loudly, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine!"

DEER HUNTING

A group of guys go deer hunting and separate into pairs for the
day. That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering under a
huge buck. "Where's Harry?" asked another hunter.

"He fainted a couple miles up the trail," Harry's partner
answered. "You left him lying there alone and carried the
deer back?" questioned the other hunter.

"It was a tough decision," said the hunter. "But I figured
no one would try to steal Harry."

THE BIG SLEEP

Sue always insisted that her husband Jack take her to the theater
once a month, but Jack hated the theater.
"Sue," he complained, "I would rather stay home and watch the ball game."
"Is that all you can think about-ball games?" countered Sue.
"Think about me once in a while-cooped up in the house alone all day."
So they went to the theater that night with friends.
At the end of Act II a loud snoring sound startled them.
Everyone looked and there was Jack sound asleep. Sue turned crimson red with shame.
"How dare he make a spectacle like this! I'll never live it down."
"Don't bother him," laughed one of the nearby spectators. "He's the ohly one enaying himself."

THE PAINTINGS

Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings.
One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it.
The next painting is a murky gray color that has drips of purple paint streaked across it.
Liz walks over to the artist and says, "I don't understand your paintings."
"I paint what I feel inside me," explains the artist.
"Have you ever tried Alka-Seltzer?"